


Timbuktu

by fragilecapricornpanic



Series: PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters [58]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Griddy’s Doughnuts (Umbrella Academy), Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Kid Fic, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Lesbian Vanya Hargreeves, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Pre-Canon, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Sad Vanya Hargreeves, Sibling Bonding, Soft Diego Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:15:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26497753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilecapricornpanic/pseuds/fragilecapricornpanic
Summary: Diego, Vanya, Klaus (and Ben) have an awkward time out at Griddy’s not long post-academy, in an attempt to help Vanya feel somewhat included. Agnes is utterly confused by these strange teenagers, and Klaus has an interesting theory surrounding their father and Pogo.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters [58]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869709
Kudos: 72





	Timbuktu

**Author's Note:**

> The story directly previous to this in the main series will explain more why they went to Griddy’s, but this can be read on its own.

“I’m not saying they’re necessarily _banging_ ,” Vanya nodded along to her brother timidly, longing for Diego to return from ordering “but I think they’re having some sort of intense gay love affair, why else would Pogo put up with dad’s shit?!” Klaus exclaimed confidently. Vanya blinked rapidly, trying to force her brain to find some way to respond. “I...” Vanya glanced back over to Diego, who sent her an apologetic grin “I think it’s because dad granted him his intelligence?” she murmured uncertainly, even though she knew without a doubt that that was why. Klaus stomped his fist on the table so fiercely that she had to bite back a startled squeak. “That’s what he wants you to think!” he whined in a tone that she imagined he felt was persuasive rather than paranoid. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Vanya could hardly see the natural green hue of his eyes, his pupils were so prominent. She couldn’t understand why Klaus did this to himself, how was it appealing? Maybe she should’ve considered herself lucky as kids that she wasn’t usually invited with them to sneak out to Griddy’s. Vanya briefly closed her eyes with relief as Diego sauntered over to their booth. 

Feeling incredibly embarrassed that the entire diner could hear their brother’s crackpot theory, Diego slid in the seat beside Vanya. There was no way in hell he was sitting next to Klaus. “They’re not gay, you sick fuck.” Diego hissed under his breath, awkwardly checking if anyone was still staring. “So being gay is _sick_?!” Klaus hissed back, clearly only pretending to be outraged to piss Diego off. “No,” Diego cracked his way through all ten knuckles, trying to stop himself from yelling “it’s sick because he’s our _dad_.” He never wanted to consider that side of their father’s life, and certainly not with Pogo. That was almost as gross as imagining dad being married to mom like normal parents would be. Trying to imagine Klaus wasn’t there, Diego turned to smile at his sister. Vanya looked like more bangs than person, she had her head bowed so low. “I ordered the donut you asked for.” he gently explained, knowing that would cheer her up somewhat. It had been Five’s usual order. She smirked shyly in response, nervously glancing to Klaus when he started whispering to himself. 

“They might believe you this time.” Ben tried to convince his brother, though he knew that was going to be unlikely. It had never gone over well in the past when Klaus had tried to tell them Ben was here. “Why would they believe me?!” Klaus whispered irately, which was fair - considering the topic he had just been ranting about. “We can prove it to them, just tell them something that only I would know.” Ben suggested softly, trying to keep his tone light. He knew if he put too much pressure on Klaus he’d just get stressed and say no. “I could probably make you goddamn visible to them and they still wouldn’t believe me.” Klaus huffed, seemingly trying to have a thumb war with himself. Ben wasn’t going to bother asking what that was about. “We won’t know if we don’t try.” Ben pacifistically pointed out, beaming wistfully at Vanya despite knowing she couldn’t see him. “I’m going to take your advice and _just say no_.” Klaus giggled in a volume much louder than he should have. Ben knew Klaus was just joking around to try and hide that he was petrified of them accusing him of lying. Again.

Feeling utterly determined to never sleep again, Klaus had kept himself awake for several days. His nightmares were almost worse than the real ghosts. No matter how high he got, the night terrors didn’t turn off like the ghosts did. He’d accidentally overdosed on downers as he’d tried to drown out the nightmares enough to rest - causing him to decide he’d just simply never sleep again instead. Ben wouldn’t stop nagging about how this was _dangerous_ , and he was _going to have a heart attack_ , nag nag nag nag nag. He wasn’t the one who had to go back there every night.

Agnes approached the teenagers’ table, looking at the curly haired boy with as much alarm as his friends. “Peanut butter?” she asked the adolescents, glancing down to one of the donuts on the tray. The tiny girl tentatively put her hand up, looking to her friends as if she felt she had to check they didn’t want to take it instead. Agnes smiled politely and handed the plate to her, wondering if she was okay. She looked very on edge. “Thank you...” the girl murmured incredibly quietly.

“Sprinkles?” Agnes inquired, looking from one boy to the other. “Moi!” the strange boy yelped, grabbing it from her tray before she had the chance to hand it to him. His subsequent jump and the shaking of the table implied the grumpy boy had kicked him in the leg. Almost dropping her tray with shock, Agnes cleared her throat awkwardly. She wasn’t sure why these kids were friends with each other, they didn’t seem to particularly like one another. Agnes felt she somewhat recognised the boys, though she couldn’t place why. She had so many customers pass through, it was hard to keep track.

“Black coffee?” Agnes directed her final enquiry to the scowling boy, since he was the only one without an order. He nodded wordlessly, outstretching his hand to receive it from her. “Thanks.” he grunted once he had a hold of his cup, narrowing his eyes threateningly at the other boy. Agnes followed his gaze to the strange boy, and was taken aback to find he’d apparently shoved the donut in his mouth in its entirety. “Th’uo.” he mumbled unintelligibly through his mouthful. Agnes assumed it was a thanks. “No problem.” she addressed all the kids, smiling at them cautiously as she shuffled back to the counter.

Ben waited for his brother to finish his colosal mouthful. “Ask her hows c-“

”-ollege going?” Klaus wondered to Vanya, though he didn’t seem particularly interested in his own question. She looked down to her hands anxiously, not liking the attention being on her. “It’s fine.” she murmured timidly, not wanting to discuss the subject. “I’m sure you’re like, the top of your class.” Diego predicted, sounding like for some bizarre reason he truly meant it. “Oh...” Vanya meekly breathed, unsure how to respond to a compliment. “Thanks,” she smiled nervously at her brother “my professors don’t even know I exist.” she admitted. Vanya had handed in her midterm and her favorite professor had asked if she was a transfer student. She had sat in the front row since the class began. It was sometimes hard to convince herself that she wasn’t invisible.

Frowning depressively, Ben wished he could offer his sister some support. He knew Klaus wasn’t likely to pass it on for him, and even if he did it would probably just make Vanya feel uncomfortable. At least people looked through him because he was a ghost, people looked through Vanya even though she was right there in front of them. That must arguably hurt much more. “I’ll tell you who knows how that feels-” Klaus announced excitably, causing Ben to grow profoundly panicked. “No Klaus, not the right time!” he spluttered, trying to nudge his brother before remembering he’d just phase through. They both shivered slightly, though thankfully that was a distraction enough to completely throw Klaus off from his train of thought. It didn’t take much to cause his brain to falter these days.

Staring at their brother with irritation as he paused, Diego wondered just how fucking high he was. “What?!” he nagged impatiently, wanting to know what the hell he was leading to. It would’ve probably been inane nonsense anyway, Diego wasn’t sure why he was so intrigued. It was tempting to kick him again, but Diego didn’t want to frighten Vanya. Watching the creaky cogs turn in their brother’s brain was morbidly entertaining. “I can’t remember.” Klaus eventually shrugged, going to pick his donut up from his plate but sighing with disappointment when he found he’d already demolished it. “You’re so goddamn stupid.” Diego grumbled, crossing his arms in his annoyance. “I’m not stupid, _you’re_ stupid!” Klaus bit back.

Picking at her donut demurely, Vanya sighed exhaustedly. She wished her brothers would grow up and stop quarrelling like five year olds. They were far too old to be behaving this way still. Luther would always stop things escalating, holding her brothers apart with great ease. Vanya wondered how they acted when they were alone together, if they were this easily riled up in _public_. She pondered if all boys acted this way... it made her want to never get a boyfriend. Not that she was particularly fond of that idea to begin with. A large thud snapped her from her wandering thoughts. Klaus was laid in a heap on the floor, glaring at Diego. Vanya had clearly zoned out enough to miss them predictably roughhousing each other. The spilled coffee lead her to assume one of them had lunged over the table. She hoped they weren’t going to get kicked out, that would be mortifying. Everyone was staring at them as it was. Even though Vanya knew she wasn’t the one causing a scene - she still wanted to die with embarrassment. She shuffled even further down into her seat, wishing she could just blend into it all together.

Just as Klaus was about to lunge on Diego again, much fiercer this time, Ben called his name worriedly. “You’ll squish Vanya!” he warned, looking utterly petrified. Klaus felt slightly guilty as he realised he’d totally forgotten she was even there. It was Diego’s fault, he was distracting him. Prick. “Fine, I’ll do it later.” Klaus grumbled dejectedly, slumping back into his vinyl seat. Ben grinned with relief. He was breathing rather heavily due to his stress, which Klaus found unimaginably hilarious since he had no need to breathe. “You know you’re dead, right?” Klaus wheezed, gesturing to Ben’s rapidly rising and falling chest. His dead brother scowled “You know you’re an adult now, right?” he sarcastically asked, referring to his and Diego’s antics. They were barely adults, it basically didn’t even count. They could become adults once they turned twenty five, or something. Who was Klaus kidding, he wouldn’t make it to his mid twenties.

”Maybe we should go.” Diego suggested, taking in how things were quickly spiralling into chaos. This was probably a bad idea, he should’ve never given into Klaus’ begging to come back here. It set Diego on edge remembering the times they’d came here with Five and Ben. It felt painful to know there were only three of them here today. They used to struggle to fit in one booth, now it just looked miserably empty. Vanya nodded sheepishly, already pulling on her coat so she could get the hell out. Diego couldn’t blame her. He reached for his wallet to leave a tip, but glared at Klaus and shoved it back in his jeans. Diego would hand it to the waitress personally, it couldn’t be snatched that way. “I’m not giving you a ride.” Diego grunted at Klaus as he stood from the booth, fully aware his brother would invite himself back to his apartment.

”You can’t leave me stranded here!” Klaus cried out, traipsing on after Diego like Ben does to him. “We aren’t in Timbuktu.” his living brother snickered in disbelief, shoving a pitiful amount of spare change into the waitress’ hand. “ _Pleaaaaase_!” Klaus pleaded as they left the diner, knowing his brother was a massive fucking push over. “No.” Diego curtly replied, though he opened the backdoor of the car to let him in. Klaus grinned ecstatically, thrilled he was going to get to sleeplessly sleepover at Diego’s place.

Slowly shuffling behind her brothers, Vanya wondered if they even remembered she was there. Suppressing a smirk, Diego slammed the backdoor after Klaus and opened his own. He suddenly stopped, eyes grown wide with realisation. Her brother apologetically winced over to Vanya, smiling with guilt. “I can walk.” she stated glumly, not terribly fond of even getting in the car with them anyway. “No, no.” Diego blurted, making his way around to the passenger door to let her in. “Please, I’ll give you a ride.” he begged softly, gesturing for her to come over. Vanya nodded and obliged, more out of politeness than desire. “I’m s-sorry, I’m such a dick.” he whispered, nervously glancing in the car to check Klaus couldn’t hear. “You’re not,” Vanya sighed “I’m just quiet.” She slid into her seat, trying not to focus too intensely on being forgotten. She wasn’t certain why it still hurt after it being this way her entire life. Klaus tapped on her arm frantically. Vanya looked over her shoulder, bracing herself for his verbal incontinence. “Dad clearly has some weird feelings for Pogo, I mean, have you seen the way he looks at him? It’s like how Diego looks at knives. Or Luther looks at Allison-“ Klaus ducked preemptively when a pack of gum flew at his face “-I’ve never seen the man look at anything the way he looks at that goddamn monkey.” her brother ranted animatedly.

Despite knowing Klaus repeatedly said these things purely to annoy Diego, it was still a pain in the ass. “He’s a chimp.” Diego tiredly corrected, though he was glad Klaus’ idiocy was distracting Vanya from what he’d just done. The guilt was gnawing at him. He was as bad as dad...

”Monkey, chimp - who gives a fuck? Is that really all you can focus on in this theory? Actually, scratch that - it’s not a theory. This is straight up fact. I think I’m going to confront Pogo next time I see him, the curiosity is _killing me_!”


End file.
